Epic Fail Part 1 (or “How I Discovered the Art of Listening to My Body”)

It all began with an out-of-state visit from the National Manager of my company, and a congratulatory glass of Sparkling Rosé to welcome me to the team…

A Glass of Rose to Pair w/the Salad and a Pinot to go w/the Beets.

A Glass of Rose to Pair w/the Salad and a Pinot to go w/the Beets.

And ended with the “Burger of Doom” (which was actually SUPER TASTY) a few days later…

A Brit Burger Smothered in Artichoke Hearts and Horseradish Sauce From Buckley's...

A Brit Burger Smothered in Artichoke Hearts and and Horseradish Sauce…

My first thought, when ordering this meaty, bread enrobed treat was “I’ve only been Gluten Free, Vegan for 11 days.  How much could my body have changed in that time?”

HAHAHAHAHA!

Apparently, A LOT.  Holy hell.

Thursday afternoon, I devoured the burger.  By that evening I was nearly doubled over.  JJ Grey and Mofro was but an annoyance whist I tried to keep myself upright in the theatre.  Sleep was pretty much out of the question.  So at 3am I got caught up on my “Words With Friends” games only to realize that I’m losing several.  Stupid tiles. Saturday was solidly filled with nausea and lots of excess gas (seriously…check this link out), a headache and massive dehydration.  It wasn’t till late  Sunday evening, I was able to breathe without pain and could stand on my own without fear of falling over.

Lesson learned.  Apparently my body is truly liking being free from something.  Be it the meat, the gluten, the fried foods, the fermented condiments, massive amounts of hidden sugars or whatever combination above…my body stated loudly and with absolute clarity that she was NOT happy with my brain’s decision (it’s funny how often those two disagree).  And for the first time in 40 years…I do believe my brain was forced to shut down just long enough to listen.

The next few days were spent trying to clear the pipes from whatever gummed them up

Kale, Spinach, Mango, Papaya, Chia Seed, Coconut Water Smoothie.

Kale, Spinach, Mango, Papaya, Chia Seed, Coconut Water Smoothie.

Pineapple, Papaya, Kale, Banana, Parsley, Almond Milk and Hemp Seeds to "Ease the Trauma Inflicted by the Burger" Smoothie.

Pineapple, Papaya, Kale, Banana, Parsley, Almond Milk and Hemp Seeds to “Ease the Trauma Inflicted by the Burger” Smoothie.

I am truly fascinated by how quickly I have adapted to a meat and gluten free lifestyle.  With the exception of last weekend, I feel really good.  My appetite is significantly lowered and it takes less to satisfy me.  I hesitate to use the word “satisfy” because it somehow implies that I am living a subsistence lifestyle.  On the contrary, I LOVE food.  Like, I will very likely never be thin again because of how much I am attached to eating good things.  I have found that through this change, I am learning a lot about how to cook more diverse types of foods and am really enjoying eating the diverse foods my kitchen is churning out.

Grated Ginger

Grated Ginger

Roasted Red Pepper Hummus

Roasted Red Pepper Hummus

Pacific Rim Coconut Curry

Pacific Rim Coconut Curry

This week’s menu is:

Hazel Curious About the Curry.

Hazel Curious About the Curry.

OH! And before I forget…my friend, Britney Parker gave me a Kombucha Baby (SCOBY) and as of last week, she is happily eating her black tea/sugar bath and quietly converting that energy into fermented home-grown probiotics.  I’m thinking that by early next week, I’ll be ready to start the secondary “mango infused” fermentation.

Home Brewed Kombucha

Home Brewed Kombucha

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